Thursday, September 11, 2014

The Take Away

Since my last personal post was a bit doom and gloom, I thought I'd update everyone in a way that says, 
"Hey, I'm okay!"
(I was going to spell that out in single shooters I stole off my flight home but I thought it might send mixed messages.)

No, maybe home wasn't all I'd imagined it would be and maybe I didn't have any spiritual epiphanies, but looking back I definitely learned a lot and had some things confirmed to me.


6. If you are an awkward and/or embarrassing person, just accept it. Don't fight it. Don't overthink, make excuses or obsess on it.  If anything it makes life more entertaining. For others. And by that I mean your behavior gives people something to talk about at parties when you're not around.

5.  Loyal friends and family will make themselves known when you are in crisis, but so will the glass house stone throwers and gossip-mongers.  Again, don't overthink or obsess on it. Let them create and spread whatever narrative they like. Send them flowers with a card that reads, "Thanks for making me sound more interesting than I am."  Or get creative!

4. If you break something, stain something or clog the bathtub drain at someone else's house, don't tell them.  If they ask about it, suggest that maybe their house is haunted.  Or blame their kids/pets.

3. Leaving thoughtful notes around your host's home when you leave is very sweet, until your flight is cancelled and you have to return for the night and face everyone you already wrote your emotional goodbyes to. Then it's like running into the same person ten times at the grocery store. Next time think about taking a cab to the airport in the dead of night.   For an additional layer of fun act like you were never there and see if you can make them think they're going crazy.

2. Do not tell your hostess how sad you are the morning before you dye your hair red. Seeing blood-like splatters on the bathroom floor is apparently very upsetting to some people when taken out of context.

1.  Be selfish sometimes. When push comes to shove you are your best and only advocate.  You might look like the bad guy.  You might burn bridges. You might make a mess. It's okay. It's your life. Don't live it for how you might look to other people.