Thursday, September 18, 2014


I recently started writing letters to my sons because I'm a better writer than verbal communicator and I felt like there was a lot I wanted to convey to them.  I won't share every single one because some are more personal and some are frankly a bit boring, but I thought I'd share a few, just because.

Dear Cole,
I want you to know that you can truly tell me anything and it will stay with me and only me until I'm dead, whereupon I'll become a lovable albeit quirky ghost who will haunt you for the rest of your life, privy to all your secrets.   But seriously, I've got your back no matter what. I might get mad sometimes but you never have to worry that I'll stop loving you like crazy. You can also ask me anything and I'll try to give you a straight answer, because you are old enough for honesty and because honesty is freedom.  

Honesty is something that everyone tells you to practice, but not many people do. Lying is easy and sometimes it helps in the short term, but it also creates lots of little land mines you're forever trying to memorize and avoid. It's exhausting.  Sometimes being honest is hard and scary or could hurt someone you care about, but when you tell the truth, you're free from that deceit. You don't ever have to think or worry about it again.  I can tell you all this not because I'm perfect and never lie, but because I've lied and been lied to many, many times in my life. Most were innocent and had no real consequence, but some took on a life of their own and did a lot of damage, the worst damage being the harm I did to myself.  I sort of went with the flow and said what I thought people wanted to hear all the time and after a lot of years I realized that I didn't like who I was. I had become a phony version of myself and reversing the process would take a really long time.  I don't want that for you. So just be honest.  With yourself, with others and especially with your mother.

Forever the Sophia to your Dorothy,


P.S. Write me back or you're grounded.

P.P.S. Just kidding :)

P.P.P.S. Not really. :|