Today is a good day.
See, I made two goals on Sunday.
One was to blog every day this week and the other was to go to the gym every day.
Nothing profound or particularly meaningful, but I felt like I needed to do it. I have a problem with commitment when it comes to things I don't necessarily feel like doing. I am skilled at denial; skilled at giving up before I fail. I had been questioning myself and my abilities and it was crippling me. Self doubt and comparison was making me someone I didn't want to be. Not smart enough, not a good enough writer, not happy with myself but not doing a thing to change things.
In my brain things have not been bueno.
Sometimes when you find yourself in a bad place, there is no easy or magically inspiring way to get out of there. Sometimes you just have to put on some pants and go.
So here it is, Friday. I've blogged every day. Maybe (definitely) not the best posts in the history of No Model Lady, but that's okay. It feels good to be writing again. It feels good to have ideas that make me excited to write again.
I went to the gym every day, with Spouse as my trainer. I am so sore lowering myself onto the toilet hurts. But it's good. It's satisfying. It means I made a goal and I followed through.
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours."
– Ayn Rand
See, I made two goals on Sunday.
One was to blog every day this week and the other was to go to the gym every day.
Nothing profound or particularly meaningful, but I felt like I needed to do it. I have a problem with commitment when it comes to things I don't necessarily feel like doing. I am skilled at denial; skilled at giving up before I fail. I had been questioning myself and my abilities and it was crippling me. Self doubt and comparison was making me someone I didn't want to be. Not smart enough, not a good enough writer, not happy with myself but not doing a thing to change things.
In my brain things have not been bueno.
Sometimes when you find yourself in a bad place, there is no easy or magically inspiring way to get out of there. Sometimes you just have to put on some pants and go.
So here it is, Friday. I've blogged every day. Maybe (definitely) not the best posts in the history of No Model Lady, but that's okay. It feels good to be writing again. It feels good to have ideas that make me excited to write again.
I went to the gym every day, with Spouse as my trainer. I am so sore lowering myself onto the toilet hurts. But it's good. It's satisfying. It means I made a goal and I followed through.
"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It is yours."
– Ayn Rand
Good job Lady! Most Marines don't make it through my PT sessions, you now have street cred...
ReplyDelete-Spouse
I love you! And I love Dan!! And this is a good reminder not to get trapped in the world of "if only," which is an easy place to fall into. Rock on, tough lady!!
ReplyDelete-Mom
That quote is just what I needed thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeletewww.thekentuckygal.blogspot.com
I love that you've been writing so much more!
ReplyDeleteI love reading your blog posts, always something I look forward to.
ReplyDelete