Before I go to the gym (because my bod hates me and no longer allows me to consume whatever I want without consequence) I thought I'd share a few things from my Love/Hate List: The Gym Edition.
Hate:
- Going to the gym
-The term "getting bikini-ready". Thanks to pregnancy, no matter how many times I go to the gym, this will never be.
- Sweating
- When people try to talk to me at, despite the fact that I'm wearing headphones and a surly expression.
- That moment when I get off the elliptical and almost fall because my legs aren't used to solid ground.
- Thongs
- Seeing obvious, unflattering panty lines at the gym. Nobody actually likes thongs (except whores and men) but they are a necessary evil where stretchy pants are concerned. Be considerate.
- Hooker makeup
- Sloppy cleavage. Get those things under control, ladies.
Love:
- People watching
- Imagining my fat cells being destroyed by tiny sweatband-clad fitness cells.
- Leaving
I apologize if I've offended those of you who actually like working out, but frankly, you offend me.
Oooh I have something to add to the Hate List:
ReplyDeletePeople that talk loudly on their cell phone, usually an inappropriate conversation, while walking on the treadmill.
Though I admit, I do love to eavesdrop :)
Holy shit I'm laughing SO LOUD right now! My kids are looking at me like I'm nuts!
ReplyDeleteI need to imagine the tiny sweatband-clad fitness cells, it amuses me...and I need to be amused if i'm going to move more than from the couch to the fridge. ;)
ReplyDeleteha ha at least the women with bad panty lines could go commando ha ha :) hilarious!
ReplyDeleteJudging...hahaha. I love that. True.
ReplyDeletehahahahaha this was totally the highlight of my day. i've been hitting the gym a lot and all of those things are true.
ReplyDeleteYou spoke my mind exactly. I just started this healthy eating program and it has begun to solve ALL these problems... :) LOVE your humor girl. xo
ReplyDeleteA thong to the gym?! That's a big old no for me. I'd rather have ugly panty lines (or not wear undies at all) than have that shit grinding all up in my bits while I'm trying to run. But I totally agree, the gym sucks. haha
ReplyDeleteHi there, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris
ReplyDeletehttp://chelencarter-retiredandlovingit.blogspot.ca/
I always walk super slow on the elliptical for like five minutes after my workout so I'll be okay to walk on regular land again, hahaha I totally know what you mean.
ReplyDeletehahaha, this is amazing! thank you for putting into words all the things that all us gym-goers secretly feel, but can never find the right words to verbalize. leave it up to you, lady;)
ReplyDeletehahahahaha, this was really funny. I know how you feel! Gyms are not my favorite place either. I prefer to just walk around my neighbor hood, but the thing is it get's SUPER hot outside where I live :P
ReplyDeleteCute blog, by the way :)