Before I go to the gym (because my bod hates me and no longer allows me to consume whatever I want without consequence) I thought I'd share a few things from my Love/Hate List: The Gym Edition.
- Going to the gym
-The term "getting bikini-ready". Thanks to pregnancy, no matter how many times I go to the gym, this will never be.
- When people try to talk to me at, despite the fact that I'm wearing headphones and a surly expression.
- That moment when I get off the elliptical and almost fall because my legs aren't used to solid ground.
- Seeing obvious, unflattering panty lines at the gym. Nobody actually likes thongs (except whores and men) but they are a necessary evil where stretchy pants are concerned. Be considerate.
- Hooker makeup
- Sloppy cleavage. Get those things under control, ladies.
- People watching
- Imagining my fat cells being destroyed by tiny sweatband-clad fitness cells.
I apologize if I've offended those of you who actually like working out, but frankly, you offend me.