Monday, July 19, 2010

Adventures in Percocet!

I am free of those pesky wisdom teeth!
In just a few short hours I was in and out of surgery and tucked back into bed by Spouse. I learned a lot during my drug-induced weekend. For example, percocet makes me grumpy.
Very grumpy.
My thought process on percocet:
As Spouse chomped away at his Corn Nuts the other day I briefly considered divorce. Is chewing ridiculously loud grounds for divorce? Are the makers of Corn Nuts conspiring against me? Or is Spouse trying to make me go psycho, because I WILL GO PSYCHO IF HE KEEPS EATING THOSE DA&# CORN NUTS!!

So you see, it's not been a pretty weekend for me.

Also, I should not meet new people whilst on painkillers. It is not the impression I want to leave.
I start talking, get distracted and then become convinced I've gone cross-eyed and I must roll my eyes around to fix them. All the while this poor girl who's been expecting the greatness that is me is wondering what all the hype was about. And the more I say "I'm sorry, it's these painkillers", the less she believes me. Soon she's convinced I'm hitting the Spice to self-medicate my ADHD.

And finally, I look like poop on painkillers. Even when I think I look good, random strangers keep asking if I'm okay, which around here means that I look like a Driftwood stripper who had a rough night.

And whatever you do on painkillers, don't teach a primary Sunday School class! Have you ever had a five year old girl roll her eyes at you? I have and it hurts.. It means you keep repeating yourself and they know more about Jesus than you ever will...druggie.

This morning I woke up 99% sure I have dry suck it (otherwise known as dry socket) on my left side and it KILLS!! I will go back to the dentist today to confirm, but whatever they say I'm not getting anymore pain meds. I think we've all had enough of Lady on drugs.
She's not very nice and she looks like a train wreck.