I just realized that it's been a while since I actually wrote a personal post. How odd...I usually love divulging private details of my everyday life to strangers! Then again, I don't feel like you are strangers at all, I feel like I have a bunch of friends whose faces resemble the student body of my high school (hey, I gotta use my imagination if you have no pics on your blog.). So, being my friends I'll discuss what's been stressing me lately and you can sympathetically listen.
Spouse and I are at this odd phase in life where we're expected to make grown up decisions and I'm not sure how much I enjoy that. Don't get me wrong, switching from investment banking to the Marine Corps was a big decision, but once we made it the Marine Corps took over like domineering parents and we just had to go along with it. I've complained and huffed and puffed, but now that the time has come to decide on our own future, I'm scared.
Spouse is the Marine, but we have both been in the Marine Corps these past years. We've both moved, felt screwed over and underpaid, uprooted our lives, felt grateful and resentful, endured separation, made friends and left them. Yes, we're all in the Marine Corps.
That said, do we stay in the Marine Corps or move on when his commission is up? That is the question. Spouse has a lot of options, but after getting used to the relative security (funny, I know) of a military lifestyle, it's scary to think about going back into the "real world".
You see, when Spouse and I met we were both in college but I wanted babies so he took the reigns of provider and I became a full time mommy/part time student. I followed Spouse and the USMC because I could go to college anywhere. However, very soon I'll be a graduate and it WILL matter what we do because if we stay here or anywhere like it my job options will be limited. (Like, the Driftwood or La Mirage?) It's been nice living a relatively 1950's housewife life, but it just can't last. Soon I'll get these strange bills from lenders demanding payments!! What?!? School wasn't free?
Spouse has his moments of insight and yesterday he put it perfectly when he said, "Our lives are like a rubix cube right now. We both have to decide our next move to make this work".